I took a risk

today, one that I wouldn't usually make.

It failed, and I felt silly and stupid.





But I didn't regret it. Because I know if I hadn't have done it then I would've wondered what would've happened if I had. Funny how things work like that. My cheeks are red, but I can go to sleep with a smile. I'm going to keep doing my best.

seen the life i've had can make a good man go bad
so once in my life let me get what i want
lord knows it'd be the first time.

please please please let me let me get what i want.


Spent an hour or so last night furiously scribbling down quotes on a notepad of paper. Trying to capture an essence of what inspires the greatest of us, rub some of it off on me.

I've been looking up more than usual.

Maybe it worked?

Lifes not about weathering the storm, but learning to dance in the rain.

Today I am at an extreme loose end so i'm going to post about something irrelevant and be done with it.

Adverts

Why are they so shit? I must spend an unreasonable amount of my waking hours plastered against the telly screen, burying myself under american sit coms and soaps, so I like to think I am an expert now ;) I really want to know what goes through peoples mindsets when they design/shoot/give birth to these monstrosities of advertising. They're either:

a) Foreign. Weird voices badly dubbed over ectstatic 'pretty people' spazzzzing over how shiny their cooker is.
b) Boring. I don't want to hear about buildingmarriageinsurance claims. Espescially not when it's all told to me by a wrinkly prune in a M&S suit and covered in a thick layer of powdery foundation.
c) Bizarre. How does a gigantic, dancing lemur make me want to buy a car?
d) Annoying. Why would some washed-up movie star with cheeks like Jack Skeleton make me want to eat yoghurt?
e) Gross. Please stop discussing the problems you have with your poop, you haggle of harpies. You're ripping off Sec & The City too. Bastards.
f) Depressing. WHO WOULD DO THAT TO A DOG. Leave it by the wayside? Well at least Rufus/Molly/Buster has made some lovely new friends and is looking all glossy. I'll send my quid off straightaway.
g) A fail. "Who'd wanna have sex with you now? Your pathetic." Nuff said.

So there you are! You are so welcome for this enlightenment.

Time well spent ;)

first wives club

bittered, heartbroken, friends to the end.

i hope i have people like this in my life when i'm their age, and still have so much fight in me. to say, hey you know what? treat me like trash and I will fuck you over.

You don't need money, or intelligence to get your own back. just the guts to never say never.

keenkeenkeen

can'twaitcan'twaitcan'twaitcan'twait.



tweedledum and dee. oh what fun we shall have, can'twait.



On another note, watched Stardust last night! Was very pleasantly suprised, even though Robert Di Nero (is that how you spell it? It's how you say it and that's good enough) playing a verrrrry metrosexual pirate was a little frightening. On the whole though I really did enjoy it! Lots of swashbuckling, fantasy-filled funtime. Glad I skipped history homework for it ;)

so tired

-of coursework
-of heartache
-of stress
-of laddered tights
-of no money
-of rehearsals I love and hate equally.
-of being a coward
-of letting that chance slip through my fingers
-of dissapointment


fuck it.

feelo and effics.

Today I realised again quite how much i'm looking forwards to doing philosophy and ethics next year, at first I was a little unsure, I mean everybody sees it as just one of those lessons you fuck about in right? But i'm actually genuinely really interested in it. Recently somebody decided not to do a certain topic for their english oral simply because I might contest that view, and I don't know, argue them down. It really upset me actually, I know i'm opinionated but I never want to be the person people are afraid of saying certain things in front of in case they go off on one. I know those people and I hate it. I'll have to be careful to be less enthusiastic with my arguing perhaps, I forget not everybody is so strongly decided in their views as I am. I can't help it, I know my mind and i'd happily fight all day long if that was what it took to defend my opinions.

Earlier we were arguing about whether tthe media has a right to criticise religion, and I really enjoyed it. It's nice getting different perspectives, even if they don't necessarily agree with yours. As a person who is set on going into journalism, the freedom of the media is pretty important to me. I can understand where others who disagree with me are coming from but I simply can't accept their views.

I have the right to say whatever I damn want about whatever I damn want as long as I am respectful and it's within reason. Nothing will ever change if you don't contest it, simply saying 'oh but people will get offended if you criticise that' is weak. Beliefs, religious or not, are made to be tested and a true believer will welcome criticism not reject it - afraid of what might be said. When I grow up, and become a journalist (well, fingers crossed) I am going to write about everything I feel deserves to be written about, things people should be informed about, not curb my tongue in case I step on other people's toes.

That's not how I want to live my life i'm afraid.

Ahh, I love philosophy and ethics. Different views and different ways of thinking defines who we are, what could be better than studying that?



On another note, I really love black and white photography.