AWOL

Now let's be quite honest shall we. I am the type of person who has her phone on her at all times, if at home I will be in all probability on facebook and msn (well what if I miss that-person-I-don't-know, liking that facebook-group-I-don't-give-a-shit-about?), I cannot last even a walk home from town without calling a friend and thrive on the other person saying 'hi, how r u? :)' first. Even though people spelling are just 'r' drives me demented, and my addiction to emoticons (yes that's the name for those little smiley things you make out of colons - who knew?) is sickening.

Keeping all this in mind I suprised even myself with the change that came over me late saturday morning. I took up the always-offer of going to my dads for the weekend. A whole weekend away from friends and facebook (well, there is internet but it is cringily awful) and just spent playing crappy xbox games with the brother and explaining anime films to papa payne. We drove past this girls secondary school 'woodford county high school', and my mouth literally dropped open. After seeing bishops, sir freds, stanborough, monks walk etc. I thought I had a pretty good idea of what a non-private secondary school looks like. I guess I was wrong:
To be quite honest that photo doesn't even do it justice. I think it is one of the most stunning places I have ever seen, and it is about three seconds from my dads house. You would think somewhere like this would be in the middle of nowhere, but walk out of the gates and across the road is a waitrose, and theres all your normal high street shops and a train station. It is bang in the middle of woodford, and yet it is so uncompromised. I don't know what has come over me, a big bitchslap of 'what if'? What if I had chosen to live with my dad, had ended up going to this school, like I would have done in that situation. As a person who on a whole doesn't have a lot of regrets, doesn't wish to be somebody else very often (well more often than usual), I can't help but feel an ache. An ache for this beautiful place which isn't a few minutes from a grotty subway where girls get kidnapped, or a huge asda, where you look out the window and there isn't a block of ugly flats with towels and old undies hanging out the window.

The sad thing is, I think I would give up everything I have now, my school and my friends (well pretty much, I could see everybody on weekends though I suppose) for this place. This place I have never entered, know only what can be gleaned from the website about. I'd even have to give up living with my mum.

Eight days. I have eight days to send off an application. Tick tock, tick tock.



On retrospect i've really gone off topic with this post! Blimey. All I was going to say was how my phones run out of battery (i'm not charging it, big fat case of the CBAs), only glimpsed at facebook and finding the idea of going on msn fairly repulsive. Thus the title of this post - AWOL. I am quite sure that in the unlikelihood anybody has noticed i'm missing, i'm sure they'll manage just fine. I've just suddenly had the strangest urge to just be alone. I suppose i'm lucky in the respect that accompanying this urge to be alone is one muvvafukka of a stomach bug - hello up all night with a fever and vomit. Oh yes, i'm sexy like that. I'll be back in school by tomorrow though i'm sure, got a lot to think about.

Until next time, au revoir mon cheris. Or whatever it is in that language I wish I speak.